Western Justice

Roger hasn’t been an assistant DA in Luna Vista very long. In fact, this is the job that he took right out of law school. Now, being an assistant DA for a small, rural, county isn’t the most glamorous. It isn’t what most people dream of when it comes to dream jobs, and for Roger, it wasn’t really the fulfillment of his dreams, either. But it was a job, and Roger was of the kind that took life as it came to him. Such had always been the case. Roger, you see, wasn’t even from around this area. He had grown up around the Baltimore area. On completion of his bachelor’s degree, he had gone south and west to go to Oklahoma City University’s esteemed law school. When asked why he had come to OKC to go to law school instead of back east, he had replied, “Well, I kinda bombed my LSAT’s…and, well, this was the only school where my application was accepted.”

As I was saying, Roger is the assistant district attorney for the Luna Vista area. There isn’t a ton of crime around here, but obviously, if there is a blog about this town, there are some pretty interesting things that go on. And as assistant DA, Roger had seen more than a few interesting cases. Roger was playing darts in his office at the time he received the following phone call.
“DA’s office…”, Roger chimed.

On the other end of the phone line, Evan McKinley opened up. “I wanna press charges on my neighbor.”

Roger was going to ask what for, but didn’t have to, as Evan continued, “He shot my puppy! My poor little puppy, how could he do something like that? That’s…that’s animal cruelty! And I’ve done a little research and under Section 47, paragraph 12 of the state statute, animal cruelty is a felony offense. I want to press charges!”

“Hold on now. Let me get some information from you, first”, Roger said cautiously. He knew to slow down when people started quoting statutes. “You say your neighbor shot your dog. Do you know of any reason he may have had for shooting your dog?”

“Well, he told me the other day to keep my puppy off his land and away from his cattle or else he would shoot him. But he’s just a little puppy. He doesn’t understand what he’s doing. You can’t just go and shoot a puppy!”

As you can tell, Evan was somewhere between tears, shock, and anger. A kind of blubbering anger, that is hard to understand unless you knew a little more of his background. You see Evan isn’t from around here either. In fact, he’s from California – San Francisco to be exact. He came out to Luna Vista to experience the unadulterated Earth…to get back to Walden’s pond, so to speak. Yeah…Evan was one of “those” types. Anyway, he took his trust fund and headed to the backwoods that you, the reader, are becoming more and more familiar with.

“So your neighbor had caught your dog chasing his cattle before?”

“Yes, but he’s a puppy and he couldn’t really hurt those cows!”

“And the dog was shot on your neighbor’s property?”

“Yes, but…”

“Well sir, it sounds like your neighbor gave you plenty of warning to keep your dog off his property and he shot your dog while on his property. I’m not going to press charges.”

“What?!? What do you mean you’re not going to press charges? That’s…that’s animal cruelty! He was just a puppy!”

“I’m sorry sir, but there’s just no way that you could get a jury from Luna Vista to find someone guilty for shooting a dog that was chasing his livestock…especially when he had given you a warning. This ain’t New York City!” As you can tell from the last sentence, Roger had acquired a little of the local flavor. There are just some times when you need to throw in a good ‘ain’t’ to get your point across. This was one of those times. This particular ‘ain’t’ hit its mark as the line was silent, except for some heavy breathing.
“I’m really sorry about your dog” Roger continued in a more sympathetic tone. “I honestly love dogs and hate to see things like this, but there’s just nothing I can do.”

“Is there someone else I can talk to about pressing charges”?

If you had been a fly on the wall of Roger’s office, you would have seen the reaction this question provoked. It was one of those exaggerated eye-rolls with a not too small, yet strangely silent sigh. The sigh helped, though. It gave Roger the necessary patience to calmly reply, “No…I’m sorry, but there isn’t anybody who will press charges. Again, I am sorry your dog died, but there is nothing that can be done.”

That pretty much ended the conversation. A few ‘goodbyes’ were muttered and the phones not so carefully placed back in their cradles. Let this be a lesson to you, who venture into the serene and seemingly peaceful flora and fauna of Luna Vista. Don’t let your dog chase the neighbor’s cattle!